Wednesday, 11th May 2005
Here's the photos: Kampuchean Travels
Tuesday, 5th April 2005
Tonight, I have found some things I thought I had lost forever. Tonight, I found myself. Amidst the tears and pain, I found my strength. I found, once again, my connection to God. I found my light.
Before this night, I thought I had lost myself in all the chaos, in all my sins and in all the pains of life. A part of my faith fell when I wasn't looking and the worst thing is I never felt that loss until tonight. A great shame, I told myself. Such a great shame indeed.
Tonight, I questioned myself. I asked myself if I have been truthful to myself and to the people around me. I asked myself if I have been grateful for all that I have. I asked myself if I have been a good person this few years. Sadly, I don't think I have.
So tonight, I asked God to forgive me and I ask all to forgive me. For all my wrongdoings, for all my careless words that have cut some and for all the hurt I may have caused.
Stoopid tetanus jab. Now I'm left with a sore left arm and a fever of 37.5 degrees Celsius. I can't lift my arm past eye level. My head feels so heavy and this time, it has nothing to do with my hair. I was supposed to continue studying but I fell asleep on the floor in the living room. By the time I got up, it was dusk so I dragged my sorry and extremely sluggish arse to my bed. I can't sleep on my left and every time I turn, my arm shoots with pain. I'm miserable and tired. I can't concentrate. I have to get up early tomorrow. I have to finish PR and start on Comm Issues. I don't want to study. I want to read my books. I want to sleep in. I want Ben and Jerry's Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough.
I have to stop whining now.
Oh no. Men of Honor is on now. NEXT!!! I want Last Exile and Kiddy Grade. 11pm, come faster! I'm watching Ben Affleck on TV2. That's how bad it is.
And Channel NewsAsia are looking for a Food and Travel presenter. Why am I not 21?
And Sandra Bullock, so hot.
I know, I know. I said this blog is on hiatus but I couldn't well leave y'all hanging now, can I? Don't worry, I don't plan to shut down this blog entirely. Now that school has ended, I have a whole lot of work due in CA, ADA and now EB also. I still have to study for PR and Comm Issues and then I'm off to Cambodia. Once I get back, it's off to the school to start on UrbanWire and by then, my third and final year would have started. Wonder if I'll get my electives. For those who care to know, here's a list of my electives, ranked by choice:
So much has happened in the past weeks. As usual, the last week of school has got everyone on their last nerves. Late nights and 48 hours without sleep turned even the most resilient of us into the walking dead. Well, nearly all of us. Wilson is simply inhuman, I tell you. Speaking of which, I should really commend my magazine group on a job well done. All those 11:30 blackout sessions in schools has been fun, though it's something I hope I won't have to go through any time soon. And that photoshoot with all the bikinis and martinis...hee. Where's my Maleeyah? Our "last dinner": a greasy, cholestrol-filled pile of burgers, fries and Coke. That weird sleepwalking thing at Jiewei's place. How I ended up on the couch, I have no idea. And my melodramatic writing style, eh, Dayah? I don't know what prompted you to ask about circumcision, Ling but I'll never forget that conversation, you sadist. Dare laugh at my 7s. And by the way, 7's my favorite number. Coincidence much? Hee.
I should get back to PR. Wait, I should start PR now. Till next time then.
To all those ITP this coming April/May, good luck and have fun while the rest of us relax. What? I can't gloat a bit? I'll be leaving for Cambodia on April 11 so if you guys wanna meet up or something, text me. Chalet, bowling, shopping, anything, I'm game. It's time to hang loose, after exams, of course.
My Coy Dance With Sleep.
O weary night has now arrived,
Yet I do not tire.
From within my being,
This relentless passion sparked from benign desire.
Weaving past the pillars of life,
Leaving one to wonder.
Plunging into the waters of despair
Detached, drowned and pulled under.
Round and round and twisting deep,
A mad waltz of hide and seek.
Removed from sight,
I now shall hide.
Sheltered from the weary night.
A coy dance
Of morbid love and quiet hate.
Between the tangled sheets
Of my bed.
O weary night has now left us,
And finally I succumb.
For this torrid affair has left me weak.
Has left me lost.
Has left me numb.
Chalk up another one for the "Journal"...It's crap time. Wait, should that be crunch time? Eh.
I look deader than a zombie. Like many
others, I too gripe about how unjust it is to be back in school in a month that
is supposed to be spent lazing in bed. It is December. It is the monsoon season.
It rains almost everyday and in air-conditioned lecture theatres, it gets
friggin cold. And that’s not including the plunging temperatures in the TV
studios. My only line of defence – thick warm pullovers. How does one
concentrate when one’s butt, fingers, toes are numbed and brain only half
awake at 8 a.m. in the morning? My eye bags have eye bags. I think I may have to
wear my Oakley sunnies to avoid all those people staring at me. Being
self-conscious is a curse, I tell you. We humans are a bloody shallow lot.
We’ve got a funny lot of lecturers
this term. Web D, Comm Issues…they just seem to pop up here and there. I’m
just glad I didn’t glad B.Lee. I can barely understand him, let alone tolerate
his ‘sense of humour’. Note the commas. Definitely not looking forward to PR
lectures.
I’m no artist but having seen the
other journals has given me the much-needed inspiration to do up mine. I’m
pretty much set about the online portfolio. I’ve got all my graphic art here
so I’m left with my written work and perhaps some photography, which also
brings me to my next point. If all goes well (and they better), my dad will be
getting a digital camera, a Panasonic Lumix. Since class was cancelled today, my
family headed over to Mustafa to get some shopping done. Since the practicality
of lugging a zip disc drive with my laptop is really absurd, I decided I needed
to invest in a good Flash drive. So is a $79 Imation 256 MB Flash Drive worth
its price? I wouldn’t really know. It was either that or the Sony Flash Drive.
I snuck a glance at the iPods that were terribly close by. The urge to waste my
entire pay check on a 20 GB Black iPod was so overwhelming I nearly bought one.
The shopping devil must have been haunting me.
It’s Feature Writing and Public
Relations tomorrow, with a 3-hour break in between, during which I will go for
my prayers. Thank God I don’t have to skip classes any more. I’m wondering
about Feature Writing. Will we stick to our previous groups or will we
reshuffle? IMO, I figured that if we selected the two editors first and did a
classic playground-selection, it would work out better. Wait. No. It wouldn’t.
A mild reshuffle would be good.
I guess getting Appreciating Literary
Works and not Drama and Poetry is a blessing after all. It’s Writ all over
again and to some that may be torture but to me, it’s possibly one of the best
classes I’ll have this term. The only complaint I have is the time I have to
be school for the class: 8 am. Bummer. Financial Stats is just a spruced up
title for Basic Accounting. It’s like POA only easier so I hope I can work
through it.
I’ve been reading through Joan of
Arcadia scripts and it makes me wish that Mediacorp would broadcast this show
some time soon. Either that or on Cable. We finally got HBO and Starmovies so I
can now watch episodes of Carnivale!
Oh! And we bought a bottle of Nandos' Hot Chilli sauce. I know it's really pointless to tell you all this but seriously, you have never tasted chicken if you haven't had Nandos before. Lemme clarify. Nandos is a Portugese/Mexican restaurant in Aussieland that serves the BEST! chicken around. You haven't lived if you haven't tasted Nandos. Their sauces are mind-blowing so if you see a bottle on the shelf somewhere in a supermarket, do yourself a favor and get one. Get the "Hot" flavor. "Mild Hot" is for chicken...the human kind. Whoo Nandos!!!!
Have you tried Seneca's Apple Chips? Hmm...I don't know. They taste like dried mango, only more sour. The crisp chip-like texture kinda turns me off but they are so much healtier than potato chips and I'm on a health kick right now. So please don't be stunned if you see me munching on greens instead of a normal meal. I've been doing that since I started working in MTV. No idea why though. I think it's this tub of fat around my waist. You don't see it, but I do. It's there. Believe me. Gotta do something about it fast. Time to get physical...physical. I wanna get physical...Oops. Olivia-Newton-John-possession there for a moment.
I've been reading Ramses and now Spartan. If there was a class that taught mythology/history or something close to that, I would be the first to sign up. I guess I just found what I'll be posting about in that App.Lit. discussion board. Egyptian religion is just so damn interesting. It's fascinating to see how intense the relation of the Pharoah and his people and their gods, and how divinely important the Pharoah is to his people. He is a god on earth, the unitor of the two lands and the son of Egypt. Fascinating shit, I tell you.
I want to go back to work. I want a
holiday. I want a gym membership. I want that baseball jacket from Haut. I want
Gavin DeGraw’s Chariot CD. I want so many other things but I really
don’t need them all.
Funny how I seem to be blogging more when I'm at work than when I actually have the time. I guess it's whole compulsion to do something and not look stoned while at the computer. So I thought what the heck, if concocting an entry will keep me awake for a while, then blog I shall. But knowing how uneventful my life can get, I've complied a list of upcoming movies to look out for in the next year or so.
X3: Diva alert! There is a very strong possibility that Halle Berry, who played the African weather goddess, Ororo Munroe a.k.a. Storm, will not be returning to join the rest of the cast members in the latest installment of the X-Men series. Why, you may ask? Well, according to Canada's The Province, Shawn Ashmore who played Bobby Drake (Iceman), mentioned that Ms Berry would consider returning should her hours on set be shortened and her role lengthened. The entire X-men cast had to spend over 6 months in Vancouver during the shooting of X2: X-men United, although *some* had lesser screen time than others. As much as I love Halle as Storm, just suck it up, lady! Learn to give and take!
Hugh Jackman (Logan/Wolverine), Patrick Steward (Prof. Charles Xavier) and Ian McKeller (Eric Lensherr/Magneto) are still in talks about returning. As it seems, 20th Century Fox, the distributor of the film, won't want to go ahead with X3 should Jackman back down. There are even talks about a Wolverine spin-off, just like the comics. I've never been much of a Wolverine fan. For a mutant's whose powers only include retractable claws and a healing factor, he's pretty much overrated but it's his past that's what's intriguing to most.
The regular cast like Famke Janssen (Jean Grey), Scott Marsden (Scott Summers/Cyclops), Anna Paquin (Rogue), Alan Cumming (Kurt Wagner/Nightcrawler), Rebecca Romijn Stamos (Mystique) and Daniel Cudmore (Piotr Rasputin/Colossus) from the previous two installments have already signed on. Other possibilities include Steve Bacic (Dr. Hank McCoy/Beast), Bruce Davison (Senator Kelly), Bryce Hodgson (Arthur "Artie" Maddicks), Shauna Kain (Theresa Cassidy/ Siryn), Tyler Mane (Sabretooth), Ray Park (Toad), Cotter Smith (President McKenna), Aaron Stanford (John Allerdyce/Pyro), Katie Stuart (Kitty Pryde/Shadowcat) and Kea Wong (Jubilation Lee/Jubilee). Producer, Lauren Shuler Donner is pushing for Remy LeBeau (Gambit) to appear in X3 (You go girl!) but screenwriter David Hayter has refuted that even if Gambit did appear, he would have nothing more than small role (Dipshit!). Also it has been said that the giant purple mutant-seeking robots, the Sentinels, will make an appearance in the third installment. But most of all, let's hope we'll see more of the Phoenix and her storyline. Although it has not been made a certainty, part of X3 will be dedicated to Jean and what happened to her after X2, when we saw the telepathic/telekinetic mutant hold back a rushing flood of water to let the teammates take off in the Blackbird. Whatever it is, expect more head-on-head confrontation between the X-men and Magneto's posse. As always, there will be at least one cool fight scene. Don't mind me, I'm just reminiscing about the Wolverine/Deathstrike fight. Kelly Hu...*swoon*
Fantastic Four: In case you haven't heard, the Fab Four are coming to the big screen. Scientific genius, Reed Richard, will be played by British actor, Ioan Gruffurd, who is also known for his role as Lancelot from King Arthur, and his girlfriend/wife, Sue Richards, will be played by Dark Angel, Jessica Alba who has gone blonde for the role. Oh sweet Jessica! Oh hot, so very hot Jessica! But blonde is definitely not a look she should keep. Cellular star, Chris Evans, will take on the hotheaded role of Johnny Storm (Human Torch) but due to the low budget, will have his powers drastically reduced to only being able to light up his arm. Those bloody cheap bastards. What is the Human Torch without his flames? I guess they won't have him say his trademark line, "Flame on!"...[Latest Info: I've seen the trailer for FF and caught sight of a fully flamed Human Torch so let's pray Johnny Storm will be able to "flame on"!] The Shield's Michael Chiklis will play Ben Grimm/Thing while ex-Charmed and Nip/Tuck star, Julian McMahon has been cast as the ironclad Dr Doom. Lack of budget aside, the plot seems common enough. Dr Doom seeks to take over the world and the supercharged family is out to stop him. But because this is the Fantastic Four we're talking about, it is a must see. If the movie is anything like the X-men, which did feature a similar plot, it will definitely garner a sequel, but then again, FF doesn't have that big of a fan base despite what some may say.
Spiderman 3: It's a long way off but one can always dream. This time around, possible villains that have been named include Green Goblin, Doc Oct, the Black Cat (Felicia Hardy), but the most likely one is the Lizard (Dr. Curt Connor). You'd better know him as Parker's lecturer in Spidey 2. I'd like to see a Venom/Carnage team up against our friendly neighbourhood spider but that's been shot down. So prepare for the Lizard. Oooh, creepy! Eh. There's not much info about this movie yet. They have yet to cast a director for it.
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire: We've got a new director for this fourth movie: Mike Newell, responsible for flicks like Mona Lisa Smile, Four Weddings and A Funeral. I was hoping for Alfonso Cuaron again since he did quite a good job with Prisoner of Azkaban, save that skinny-ass dipshitting excuse of a werewolf, but hey that was the animator's fault, not his. Despite rumors, the flick will not be split into 2 parts or will it be extra long. The writer(s) will only be concetrating on the core points of the story so once again, expect loads of cuts from the book. Bah.
More updates coming up later. Enjoy.
Crap, I forgot to bring my pass to work today. Now I can’t get in and out at my amusement.
Already I can’t wait for the weekend to start and I’m not the only one. By the end of this week, the O-levels will end and my oh-so-optimistic sister has decided (maybe it was my mom who did the deciding) to zoom over to Perth. Well, at least I’ll have the house to myself but heck, I won’t even be home most of the time. Damn ITP. Another three more weeks.
Hari Raya stank as usual. The day started out horrible. Just before the start of the Hari Raya prayers, I found out that my back was splattered with mud and of all the years for this to happen, it chose to happen when I’m wearing a white baju kurung. Ok, that problem was solved with hot water and soap. So we do the whole annual gathering at my grandmother’s before heading off to another relative’s place. It started raining heavily again. So I’m desperately trying not to get myself wet and then when we come to the carpark, it, for some goddamn reason, is flooded (hello? Ever heard of drainpipes?) and I mean a good 4-6 inches of cold rainwater. No choice but to slowly tiptoe across while hiking up my pants and struggling to keep both me and my dad from getting any more wet than we already are with this uber tiny umbrella. Bloody hell.
They’re having this DeepaRaya thing in the breakout area and my cubby is literally next to the walkway leading to the area. They are making a freaking racket about some decorations and shit and it’s driving me nuts. There’s food and a best-costume contest. The prize, a $100 shopping voucher. Hmm. It starts at noon, just about the time I will disappear. It’s first week that I can actually eat on the job. I guess that’s something to look forward to. How sad is that?
I’m addicted to Gavin DeGraw’s “I Don’t Want To Be”. It’s the theme song of One Tree Hill and probably the theme song of my life. I guess I’ll go look for his album, Chariot, today.
I relish my weekends. Sleep, O glorious sleep, how I have missed your warm embrace! It's Deepavali and Hari Raya next week (yay!). I've done my double choc-chip cookies last weekend. My mom refused to let me try out other stuff. Hmprh. I'll make sure I do that raspberry semi-freddo again one day, prolly during the open house. That, maybe a chocolate semi freddo and a vanilla slice.
Ok, let's talk work. Seems they just pile on assignments every time you finish one. So far, I've done 5 articles; 3 of which have been published on the MTVAsia website: Artist of the Month: Eminem, Buzzworthy: Good Charlotte & ZoukOut 2004 and created two contests to give away Eminem's Encore CD and Good Charlotte's Chronicles of Life and Death CD. So far, the best parts I reckon are the interviews. I've spoken to Disagree and Pug Jelly, both great people. Did a CD review for the latter. Let's just say that the punk band really has a hell of a way to go before they can even make it to Electrico's standards. I'll be interviewing Jin, the newest American rapper to hit the hip-hop scene, on Tuesday. Now, I'll also be updating the TV schedules on the website but that's a snatch. So that's more or less what's been happening. I come in at 8:45am and go off at 6:15pm. The people are not too bad, too quiet for my taste but nice all the same. I'll tell you a secret. When it gets unbearably boring, I excuse myself and take an extra long toilet break, say 10-20 minutes, hoping that time will pass faster. Believe me, when you spend the entire day staring at the computer screen, it doesn't matter if a change of scenery involves toilet seats, mirrors and water basins. I'll take whatever that comes. I guess thing about work is that I don't have to bring anything back to complete. Because I'm there the entire day, I can simply carry over when I can't finish up and complete it the next day. I'm usually conked out by 9 pm, after coming back from prayers.
Visited Geylang on Friday with the family. It was crowded as usual (packed with mats and minah. Geez.). I refused to get new clothes this year seeing how I'll working. Besides the white piece that I have still fits so forgive me if you see me in that same piece this year. Anyways, there's nothing spectacular about the bazaar but I guess it is fun to walk about with company. I've decided that I should give out Hari Raya cards this year but whaddaya know! I couldn't find a single stall that sold cards! I guess I'll have to do it the old-fashioned way: buy Hallmark cards. Sigh. Such power.
I'm gonna make this super short 'cause it's 6 a.m. and I'm gonna have to get ready in about 45mins time. The day started out waaay too early for my preference (note: I usually sleep in past 12 noon). Anyways, I took the train down all the way to Dhoby Ghaut and crossed over to the Atrium@Orchard, desperately hoping that I had the right place. It was already 0845 and I didn't want to lose more time wandering lost. God bless the inventor of signs. I followed each arrow leading to Tower One, only to be stopped by the security guard. Apparently, you had to have a pass or surrender your IC if you didn't. I fumbled my way through the guards and got up to the fourth floor and fumbled more, searching for the God damned entrance until a kind lady asked me what the hell I was looking for (in a nicer way, of course). She led me into the reception area (apparently you had to have to another pass to get in there) and told me to take a seat. Long story short, the others (FSV students, Taufiq, Kenny and Michelle, and later Leon) arrived and got buzzed in too. We sat around for about an hour or so before our LO briefed us. She gave us the tour of the entire company (an extremely confusing labyrinth of cluttered cubicles) and dropped us each at our designated sections. I met my Senior Editor, got introduced to the other members of the Online dept (I was too frazzled to remember any of their names) and sat down at my desk (which I kinda share with this other part-time writer, Ivan Thomas. Patrick, my Senior Editor, told me to just surf the Net, check out the MTVAsia website and familiarize myself with the design and content. So I spent a good four hours browsing while desperately trying to stifle my yawns. After lunch (1 hour, tagged along with the rest of the NP Interns for lunch @ PS), Patrick took me aside and we talked about the company, my experience and expectations. He finally issued me an assignment: an Interview with a Malaysian band, "disagree" and to write a feature/introductory article on the band. I'm listening to their CD right now and they are pretty good. Kinda of a Creed / Dave Matthews Band sound. Later on, he came over with another assignment: an article each for "Artist of the Month" and "Buzzworthy" (which you can find on the website), which are basic intro-s to two bands/individuals (in my case, Eminem and Good Charlotte). And when he came over to my desk for the third time, I thought he had another assignment for me but lo behold, he handed me a pair of tickets for Shark Tales, the MTV Asia screening! Weee! Freebie! I was grinning like an idiot for the rest of the day. Oh and did I mention that they have TV screens playing MTV all around so whenever I'm bored, I'd just look up and there's Christina and Missy Elliot with "Carwash". Brilliant. And oh, I knock off at 6 p.m. too, not 5. Heh. So yeah, if you wanna have dinner in town whenever, gimme a ring! I don't think I can make it back home in time to break my fast.
Anyways, I rrrushed over to meet my mom @ Swenson's at the Crown Prince Hotel. I needed clothes and I needed money. What better was there than to bring a member of the family with the buying power required? I was already half-asleep but nevertheless, I propped my eyelids open and made it through the night. Went to a number of stores and I ended with quite a number of stuff. Pretty happy about it (I don't buy clothes as often as I should). And so today shall be another day. Until then, good night/day everyone! Hope ITP's working out for you guys too!
Sometimes, I can be such a diva. Hrmph.
Still, the horror has passed. Days of sleepless nights (though not so much for me. Poor Wilson and Josh.) and moments of utter blankness will now cease. At least for a week or two until my ITP begins. Speaking of which, I've received a brief outline of what I'll be expected to do.
First week:
- Orientation, familiar with environment and facilities.
Second week on:
- Assist in maintaining MTV website.
- Write entertainment news stories, CD & movie reviews.
- Basic Web publishing, execute online contests
- Assist in updating website info like show pages, charts, TV schedule.
Sounds like I'll be doing quite a bit of web stuff. Not that I mind of course. That's the only strength I have. So yes, I am complete bundle of excitement and nerves. More the latter though.
Ok, let's be frank here. I, and a couple of others, don't exactly fancy having Leon's company so you can imagine my discomfort upon discovering his attachment posting, a.k.a. the same as mine. But once again, I have averted disaster; he has been posted to a separate division.
I shall now retire to my fruitless studying, or maybe better, to my bed, where I shall rest my weary head for at least 10 hours. Aaah, the joys of holidays.
"O weary night, O long and tedious night,
Abate thy hours. Shine comfort from the east,
That I may back to Athen by daylight,
From these that my poor company detest.
And sleep, that sometimes shut up sorrow's eye,
Steal me awhile from mine own company."
- Helena, A Midsummer Night's Dream, Act Three, Scene Two.
Now that I'm done with my formalities, here comes the good news. I've gotten my attachment and I am a lucky boy. Boy-o-boy-o-boy! MTV Asia! Wow. I'm still in 'wow' mode. God has been nothing but kind to me and to Him, I am eternally grateful. I know this may be my only chance to get out there and do something with my life, so I am embracing it open arms, no matter who will be there. Hrmph. A big bummer so whoever is in Orchard, working or shopping, during the lunch hour, gimme a call. I'll be more than glad to have lunch with you. It'll be my excuse. Either that or I'll hide in a corner.
While I don't want to comment on others, I feel that I cannot suppress this issue any further. I am not in any way sorry that I got this attachment. I did not control or demand this position. It may have been luck. It may have been effort but I am not going to apologise. However, I am sorry that you cannot feel happy for anyone else because you did not get what you wanted. You need everything to go your own way, even if it means you have to throw a little tantrum. It is childish and it is stupid. Please get over yourself. People are trying to please you the best they can and all you do is throw it back in their faces. It is time you grow up. Your attitude annoys me. I have yet to show my hidden feelings but things are getting to be out of hand. In future, I may not be so kind so as to watch things go by. I will make an issue out of it if I have to and I believe I won't be the only one who will. While I do believe that our friendship is priceless, I will not stand by and watch you toss your head like a proud stallion, stamping all over others. As they say, enough is enough. Again, as always, I must ask everyone not to pester me with whom I am referring to.
School is reaching its end and soon, everything will be over and hopefully, I won't fail anything. Every semester, I look forward to getting a least a single A but from the looks of things, I'd be happy to get a B+. My News Writing, MRM and Management are looking waaay too shaky to even consider getting a B+. I'm counting on my Radio for that A and a B for Advertising. Come next year, I hope Feature Writing will spell better times for me and everyone else. Better to have gotten the harder part over and done with. Now to see the other cohort struggle. I am such a geek.
P.S. My tagboard is placed under my 'links' for the moment. Feel free to tag there for now.